A Star-Struck Match – Getting Zen with your Zodiac
You walk into the dispensary, a panoply of welcoming scents finding a home in your nostrils. The budtender flashes a warm smile, welcoming you to the counter; first, though, you turn your eyes to the menu and – what?? Are there really 50 different strains to choose from??
Walking into a modern dispensary is simultaneously one of the best AND most overwhelming experiences a stoner could ask for. Multiple shelves stocked end to end with beautiful glass pieces, accessories, and most importantly, containers filled to the brim with more sticky flower than you can shake a stem at. It’s a sight to behold.
A larger selection of strains ultimately means greater control for the consumer. However, it’s not always easy to narrow it down – everyone has a unique response to different strains of cannabis, and it’s hard to predict how someone will react. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the menu, try looking to the sky – the answers might be written in the stars!
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Although Aries’ are driven and tend to fare well with uplifting sativas, they still need to calm down here and there. It’s best to keep an uplifting sativa and a mellow hybrid in tow – some good choices for Aries include “NYC Diesel,” “Jack Herer,” and “Skywalker.”
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Like lions, Leos tend to dominate the sesh, and it’s not uncommon to see them leading the conversation. To stay engaged and avoid the couchlock, most will turn to uplifting-come-mellow sativa strains like “Hawaiian,” “Sour Jack,” and “Strawberry Cough.”
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Analytical above all, and prone to some truly intense philosophy, the sign of the Centaur is most likely to seek out reflective and clear-headed sativa strains like “Durban Poison” or “Red Congolese.”
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Geminis can be pretty darn chatty, and keep a conversation going like no one else. This can be intensified by speedy sativas and numbed by heavy indicas, so Gemini folks should aim for a balanced hybrid – some ideas would be “White Widow,” “WiFi OG,” and “Fruity Pebbles.”
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Representing the scales, Libras tend to prefer balancing buds. A strain that leans too far to either side can tip the scales, so Libras should seek out balanced hybrids like “UK Cheese,” “Girl Scout Cookies,” and “Blue Dream.”
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
The transcendental etherealists of the zodiac, Aquarius want to get downright wacky. Aquarius folks are the world’s dreamers, and they want their strains to follow suit – think “Blue Dream,” “Chocolope,” and “Amnesia Haze.”
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Taurus individuals are famously mellow, and usually prefer hybrids – relaxing or energizing, depending on the circumstance. Go-tos include “Girl Scout Cookies,” “Chemdawg,” and “Pink Kush.” So go ahead and pack a “bull!”
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
For Virgos, getting stoned can provide the “ahhh” they need to calm the hubbub in their heads. Sativas can send Virgos spiraling, so most tend to prefer heavier indica strains like “OG Kush” and “Hash Plant.”
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Capricorns are here to get stuff done – they don’t have time to sit on a couch and giggle, they’re already planning their next adventure! Sleepy indica strains don’t usually sit well with Capricorns, so they turn to engaging sativas like “Cinex” and “Space Queen.”
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Whether at home or parties, Cancers love their cannabis, and love when it brings people together. You may find Cancer folks sitting in a circle and passing their joint around – and this joint will likely be rolled with one of their favourite mellow indicas, such as “Granddaddy Purple” and “Bubba Kush.”
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
A bit more prone to the introspective effects of cannabis and definitely most likely to “curl up in the fetal position and convince themselves they’ve died,” Scorpios can benefit from some euphoric indicas and high-CBD strains that avoid the heavy stuff – think “Northern Lights” mixed with some “Ringo’s Gift.”
Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
Pisces can often be intensely sensitive and emotional and tend to favour heavy-hitting indica strains. As the writer can attest, we need a good zen every now and then! Some good choices for Pisces are “Hindu Kush,” “Lavender,” and “God Bud.”
Lana Tong is an aspiring Biochemist and Squirrel Behavioral Psychologist based in Victoria, British Columbia. She's passionate about cannabis as a medicine, entheogen, food, fiber crop, and so much more. Lana hopes to one day swim in a pool filled with organic CBD oil. We all have dreams - right?!